LETTER for Kristen D.

Dear Kristen,

I wanted to take a moment from my morning routine (treadmill, dying my eyebrows, a healthy breakfast, practicing my “lady walk”, watching the morning news, tucking) to thank you for being such a fan over the years. Your support has meant so much to me, and while so many celebrities have millions of fair-weather fans, I enjoy having just the one…because I know you are unwavering and loyal. It may seem like “Dirty Dancing” is all about the love story between Johnny and Baby, but I know you recognize the far more subtle and nuanced drama unfolding in Lisa Houseman’s world. The 1960’s were a challenging and exciting time for young people like Baby, who wanted to change the world, and Penny, who had to make the toughest decision for herself, and Johnny, trying to be more than society thought he was capable of being. But let me tell you, times weren’t easy for a character like Lisa either. To be a young, talented tranny in such a segregated society was the most difficult challenge of all. The way Lisa embraced this challenge with coral shoes, gumption and beige iridescent lipstick was more than any “real” lady could have done at the time.
My acting career has been rocky to say the least these past two decades. I am continually called in for auditions, I put on my prettiest dresses and my best wigs only to discover that once again through some error I have been called in to read for “the father” or “the butler”. I complain to my agent and he merely looks at me with surprise and says, “Well what do you expect, John?” and I simply respond, “It’s Jane.”
I know that you are mostly a fan of my work in Dirty Dancing, for which I am still reeling over not being recognized by the Academy (put on a fake nose like Nicole Kidman and it’s in the bag, but having your adams apple removed apparently is worth nothing to those bastards) but I hope that you have also taken the time to enjoy some of my later work such as “DishDogz”, “Patients are a Virtue” and “Crime Story”.
Kristen, you are not just a fan, but a true friend. I wish I could walk hand in man-hand with you and explain just how much your loyalty means to me and everyone in the STG (Screen Trannys Guild ™ ). To quickly answer your questions: Yes, I did all my own choreography for the “Hawaiian Number”, Yes, I did actually have an off screen romance with Jerry Orbach (He had a few secrets of his own under those short-sleeved button downs), and Yes, I was able to dirty dance only briefly one time with Patrick Swayze. I had to coerce him into it with shots of Bacardi 151 and a mild horse tranquilizer, despite his difficulty standing he was still the most marvelous dance partner I’ve had to date.
I am sending you an autographed headshot, an “I Feel Pretty” coffee mug, and the complete hour and fifteen minute DVD of all my acting work in the last 23 years. I must run, it’s 5:00 and there’s an ominous shadow looming, if you know what I mean.

Still Decorating the World,
Jane Brucker
Aka “Lisa Houseman”