How This Works

I am currently in the level 3 sketch comedy writing class at Second City, Chicago. It's a class I love and totally can't afford. I really want to continue my education at the Training Center because God forbid in this society, in this economy, we lose one single writer. Writers string words together and spend actual time debating whether to use a comma or elipses...decisions that change the world. Shouldn't this be rewarded with respect and cash? Yes. It should.

So here's how it works. Much like the buskers you see in the El stations who stare you down pleadingly while blowing their hearts out playing jingle bells on a saxophone in an endless loop until you give them a dollar...I'm busking online.

Step 1: Choose what you want me to write.
Step 2: Pay for it.
Step 3: Send me an email and tell me how you want it personalized.
Step 4: See your personalized writing on the blog and do a little dance.

The benefits for me are that I get to write more and I get to stay enrolled in my classes. I don't promise that any of this writing will be good, but I promise that I will appreciate it.

Here's what you can buy, or, makes a great gift!

$2 - A beautiful and moving haiku about you.
$5 - A four line ode or a limerick about you. (Donate ten dollars and get one of each!)
$15 - A letter from someone you admire, dead or alive. Historical figures, celebrities, anyone. If I don't know who it is, I will research. (AKA, look them up on Wikipedia and then wing it.)
$20 - A 300 word short story with you as the main character. You get to select 3 words to be included.
$30 - A two page scene starring you and the talking animal of your choice.
$50 - Combo Platter! Get one of everything! (You would have to be ridiculous to donate this much money, there are charities and starving people in this world for Gods sake.)

Here we go!